Lockdown, quarantine, stay at home or whatever you prefer to call the orders and mandates under this pandemic certainly hasn’t been all fun and games. But my family has tried to make the most of it. We’ve learned some songs together, made crafts, baked cookies and cakes, played countless board games, read books, competed on the Wii Fit, completed a few puzzles and, yes, we’ve probably also sighed, argued and stared off into the distance a little more than usual. And perhaps this craziness of being in our home so long without the normalcy of everyday life (you know, things like going to work, attending school, shopping, eating at restaurants, visiting with family, going on vacation, etc.) has affected our household.
All that being said, you can probably just blame this crazy blog post on the unique kind of boredom and world-weariness that develops when you have a full-time job to do, but three children (and a very large dog) are racing around the house (or moping around the house), leaving their belongings strewn about everywhere, making all kinds of loud and ridiculous noises and begging for snacks every sixteen minutes.
Parental Musings
At any rate, sometime during this unprecedented event, my brain wandered off in some random and silly directions. But I did think it was interesting to note what can happen when the world of parenthood and the world of firearms collide. Some terminology may actually have some double meanings … and may have a tendency to get a bit skewed. What starts out looking and sounding a lot like gun speak can actually be the beginnings of some common parenting conversations! Take a look. And feel free to add some of your own!
Do you carry…
…wet wipes? Absolutely. We never leave home without them.
Are you training…
…on the potty? Thankfully, no. All the kiddos have passed the potty-training stage!
Please work on your aim…
…because the whole toilet seat and the floor need to be sanitized now, son.
You need to unload…
…your pent-up feelings. Whining and crying won’t help. And you probably need to take a nap too.
I need to reload…
…the diaper bag. We’re out of formula and snacks. (And I guess I might as well put more wet wipes in there while I’m at it.)
Pull the slide back…
…so the kids don’t roll down the hill! It’s way too close to the edge.
I love this new magazine!
It has a ton of awesome parenting articles this month.
Is that a mini target?
We have a Super Target near us, so I’m not familiar with their smaller stores.
We have lots of small arms here…
…and lots of small laundry to prove it. Small shirts, small dresses, small hoodies….
Hopefully you enjoyed this little break from all the seriousness, and maybe you even enjoyed a little laugh. After all, when it comes to puns about guns, I do strive for the highest caliber … even though it probably triggers some people.
About Beth Alcazar
Author of Women’s Handgun & Self-Defense Fundamentals and associate editor of Concealed Carry Magazine, Beth Alcazar has enjoyed nearly two decades of teaching and working in the firearms industry. She holds degrees in language arts, education and communication management and uses her experience and enthusiasm to share safe and responsible firearms ownership and usage with others. Beth is certified through the NRA as a Training Counselor, Chief Range Safety Officer and Certified Instructor for multiple disciplines. She is also a Certified Instructor through SIG Sauer Academy, ALICE Institute, DRAW School, TWAW and I.C.E. Training and is a USCCA Certified Instructor and Senior Training Counselor.
