“I know I’m being selfish, but why did he have to go help?” -Lisa Benavides
Everyone wants to help, to leave the world “a better place.” But the world is the world and perhaps human nature, generally speaking, is a constant, each of us having some mixture of good and evil. This speaks to domestic violence — men and women at each other’s throats in the very heart of a relationship founded, in theory, on love and respect.
In law enforcement basic training, a police academy, recruits learn that responding to a domestic violence call is a terribly dangerous encounter because of the high level of emotion and the unknown factors involved. Not only is everyone — cops, perps, victims and bystanders — operating at a high level of stress, but once police arrive, the victim often refuses to press charges, regardless of her (or sometimes his) obvious injuries.
The danger of helping, of doing what’s right and interfering in a domestic situation, was brought sharply into focus in San Antonio on November 25th — Black Friday afternoon.
At about 4:30 p.m., Isidro Zarate, 39, intervened in a violent domestic dispute in the parking lot of the Northwest Side Walmart at 1603 Vance Jackson Road. He had just let his wife of 22 years, Lisa Benavides, out of the car when he saw a man grabbing a woman by her hair and beating her. Zarate drove his small white car next to the fighting couple and rolled down his window. “Take your hands off her!” the Good Samaritan shouted.
Immediately, the man released the woman, drew a handgun, stepped toward Zarate’s vehicle and began pulling the trigger. One of the bullets hit Zarate in the neck, killing him almost instantly. A female passenger in Zarate’s car was also hit and a second woman, standing further away, was struck by a bullet and remains in critical condition.
Teles Mandan Juarez, 21, fled in his truck but was followed by a police helicopter and finally cornered and arrested. San Antonio Police Chief William McManus says Juarez has been booked into the Bexar County jail and charged with murder.
“I couldn’t have taken more than 30 minutes inside the store,” Zarate’s widow says, “and when I came back out Isidro had a bag over his body — that’s how fast it happened.” With Zarate gone, the family — the couple raised four children together — has “lost its voice.”
Benavides remembers: “We called him ‘the storyteller,’ because he always had a story to tell; he always had a joke. He couldn’t ever just say what needed to be said. He had to make it a story. Isidro was such a sweetheart. He made me laugh more than a lot of people I know. He was always smiling … and was just a very positive person to be around. I love him and I miss him. We were together forever. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.”
Imagine yourself in this or a similar situation. You have a permit and a pistol in the glove compartment (or wherever your state legally allows you to carry), but you could be assaulted so quickly that you cannot react. Perhaps thinking about the death of this Good Samaritan will make us more cautious to intervene when a man is beating his wife, but that may not be the correct takeaway. The better thought is to call 911 and, if you feel it is necessary to intervene before officers arrive, think first of your own safety, your own protection — because, as many law enforcement officers and Good Samaritans have learned over the years, a domestic situation can be unpredictable and can end badly, violently.
So do the right thing, but you do not want to die when helping someone else. You do not want the day to end with your spouse and children in tears, telling the media that your family has “lost its voice.”
