Christmas is right around the corner. So it’s a busy season for holiday shopping. Sometimes, for us ladies that can be a daunting task and, at times, even dangerous. The key to combating criminals who look at the Christmas season as the most opportune time of the year is situational awareness. Situational awareness is the currency that buys us time. Time and distance give us options.

The only guaranteed way to survive a dangerous threat unscathed is to avoid conflict altogether. How do we maintain awareness while we engage with and manage our children, navigate aggressive Christmas shoppers, and hunt down those special gifts? Here are three steps.

Step 1: Minimize Distractions

  • Put those phones away and go old school with a paper shopping list that can easily be taken in and out of a pocket. Phones can be a major distraction and make us inattentive to our surroundings. Isn’t that why kids act up the minute they see us on the phone? Texts and calls can be returned once home and safely tucked into privacy.
  • Teach your children there are clear behavioral expectations when shopping (enter hysterical laughing here along with an eye roll and snort). Children can be unpredictable feral little creatures full of curiosity and spunk!
    • On a serious note, giving children their own “job” when shopping can really help keep them on task and meet the expectations you set without directly giving them “commands.”
      • Example for little kids: “Here is your own pen and paper. Keep an eye out for all items with Santa on them and make a tally mark for each one you see. Whoever sees the most items with Santa on them wins a chocolate bar!” (I have found that purchasing a clipboard for each child works great! Especially the ones that have the option to store paper and a pen inside.)
      • Example for older kids: Share the responsibility of remaining situationally aware of nonverbal clues. Ask them to pay attention for people who may be following you from aisle to aisle or seem to be nervously watching you as you shop, trying to get close, eyeing your purse and so on.
  • Keep conversations with those you meet friendly but brief. There is always time to catch up later! Many purses are stolen when we turn our backs, even just for a second. Being engaged in conversation is more than enough time for a thief to seize an opportunity. Remember, the bad guy or gal is constantly taking in information and looking for the perfect opportunity. You should be taking in and processing information too.

Step 2: Present yourself in a way that screams Bold, Confident and Strong

  • Keep your head up. Stay alert and look around. Take in your surroundings and those around you. There is a difference between a nervous glance and actual intake of information.
  • Make eye contact and greet those you pass. This allows you to gauge people around you and lets them know you are not timid and are aware of their presence. It can also help identify or describe others to authorities if there were an issue.

Many criminals choose NOT to victimize someone simply because their target made eye contact with them.

Step 3: Be Prepared

“Your body cannot go where your mind has not been.” While I did not coin this phrase, it is used in training from firearms to physical combatives courses.

  • Prep yourself for what could happen so you can mentally prepare should it happen.
  • Know your rights in a use of force/deadly force incident.
  • Always know where the exits and entrances are.
  • Be aware of your surroundings and what could be used for cover and/or concealment, as well as what could be an obstacle for you to navigate. Use your surroundings as tools to create and maintain space between you and the threat to give yourself the time and distance needed to draw a weapon, attract attention from passersby, get to safety, etc. It takes longer to go around or over an obstacle than come at you head-on with nothing in between.
  • Carry some sort of defensive tool and know
    • how it works
    • why it works
    • why it might not work
    • how to fix it should it not work
  • Be prepared to give loud and clear verbal commands relative to the situation. Should someone engage with you in a threatening way or in a manner that crosses a boundary, BE LOUD. Draw attention to the situation from everyone around you with commands like…
    • “Stop! Leave me alone!”
    • “Don’t come any closer!”
    • “I said NO!”
    • “BACK UP!”
  • Be prepared to act. This requires some mindset training. You need to know:
    • Your physical capabilities under pressure
    • What your level of training allows you to do while combating the physiological impacts of adrenaline, your emotional response to a threat and your mental preparedness for fighting back
    • Tools at your disposal to use for defense (family-sized cans of chicken noodle soup pack a big punch)
    • What you are willing to do to survive and protect your loved ones

Safety in Numbers

The bonus to being inside a store is there are a ton of other people around who can help you. But the downside can also be there are a ton of other people around … and you have no idea who those people are or what their intentions are. Criminals know they can disappear quickly in a crowd. They also know if their target is bold, it’s easy to get caught. Presentation of self is important.

Your ability to take in information, process that information and formulate a plan should something go wrong is your superpower! The ability to remain fluid in this requires mastering these behaviors and actions through consistent practice.

“Muscle memory” is simply building neural pathways in our brains and then hardening those pathways through thousands of repetitions so that we can handle multiple basics on a subconscious level so that our conscious minds are free to take in and process information so we retain the ability to make split second decisions based on the totality of circumstances. Chances are your subconscious has already acted and you’re in the clear before your conscious mind has had a chance to realize what’s happened. We want to avoid reacting at all costs when facing a threat.