Do you remember the first time you peed under water? Probably not, because you were young and either in the bathtub or in a neighbor’s pool. I’m especially recalling the day I learned to pee while scuba diving in a wet suit. I’m down 50 or 60 feet, looking at a coral reef in the Bahamas, and suddenly the urge hit, #1 hit, and my dive partner wasn’t far away and I still had plenty of air and I thought, “Can’t do it here.” But I did. I learned, as if it were some kind of skill, because peeing while under water in a wet suit doesn’t seem natural. It doesn’t seem right.
Watching numerous videos over the years of police body and dash cams when they are engaged in shooting events has made me realize that often, they are learning on the job to pee under water. They’re often firing their service weapon while backing up and away from a perp, moving to the side, sometimes stumbling, and occasionally falling.
If you think a shooting is just a loud bang, you haven’t heard rifle bullets sizzling through trees and branches around you. For those who still imagine they’re John Wayne, steady as a rock (or The Rock), there’s a good reason cops move back and to the side, even stumbling and falling, but continue to pull the trigger. They’ve heard the bullets whizzing through the leaves and branches and it’s a humbling, frightening thing that’ll scare you, because it is an audible sign that you are still blessed … or just lucky to be alive.
Like peeing while zipped into a tight wet suit, firing a gun while moving back and to the side — while falling and lying on your back on the ground — just ain’t natural. But learning to do this or at least managing your body and nerves in a truly awkward moment could very well be a lifesaving skill.
There’s only one way to learn such presence of mind with a handgun and it’s the same way a musician gets to Carnegie Hall. Practice.
Of course, nobody wants to throw themselves backwards and out of control with a gun in their hand. Martial arts practitioners fall, flop and are thrown onto mats on a regular basis, but, as you might imagine, this can be tricky. And frankly, I don’t believe that law enforcement officers practice such a maneuver — if you can call it a maneuver (more like a “stumble backwards and fall drill”). Most of us go to the range and shoot from a more or less static position … a good way to give a bad guy a target. A good way to learn to die.
Perhaps the best way to acquire some knowledge of what’s involved is with a thick carpet cushioned by pillows and your spouse’s yoga mats. At first — and I’m only trying to suggest something here — perhaps holding your cell phone while it records video and have your (undoubtedly smirking) spouse stand in the place of a bad guy, pointing a finger at you. Now imagine that you have drawn your gun and are backing away and to the side while squeezing the trigger. Probably the first few times you try something like this — if you don’t succeed in breaking your neck on the furniture — your results will be shockingly awful. Bullets from a real gun would have ended up in the ceiling and you’d be dead.
If you want to advance to something more real, try one of the blue or green impact-resistant polyurethane practice guns (about $40 plus shipping if you order online). Maybe your gun club could buy a couple, because they approximate the size, handling and balance of a live weapon. Plus, they can be used with rail-mounted accessories and, if you find one sized to your carry — there are a number of styles and sizes — you can practice the draw from a concealed carry holster, too. They last forever unless you go after one with a chain saw and thus they’re useful for all kinds of scenario training, such as self-protection when you’re falling or stumbling and backing away from a bad guy.
In your grubbies at a suitable outdoor range, you might progress to an actual live-fire event. My guess — if your experience is similar to mine — is that you’ll be amazed at how difficult this drill is, how little you can actually hit and how much it actually hurts to stumble and fall. This, of course, requires more than a little caution and the defensive awareness of everyone around you, but if you watch videos of cops in action, this could be a lifesaving stratagem. Heck, just acquiring a few bruises at home or watching the cell phone video will be worth it, because you’ll realize just how doggone hard this is.
And to simulate the truly frightening sounds of bullets zipping through leaves and branches around you, have your spouse scream at you while hip-hop plays at a loud volume. Get the hang of this and you’re ready to slip into that wet suit and go pee in the pool.
